Chapter 10: Ashen Amber Welcome
The blown sand reveals a deep truth.
Only in loss do we see our loves' worth.
And in seeing, we prove resilient against it.
Afina's Assertion
Amber Sands, when not actively under the threat of being torn to shreds by the desert, was roughly as ordinary as one might expect of a town that refuses to let itself be killed, denying erasure. They looked out for each other in the same manner as the people of Ivory, but there was a striking contrast from the one to the other.
Where the people of Ivory poured into the Ivory Hawk and demanded time from Eliana, Tareth, and even me, the desert folks instead made a point to shut and bolt their doors – I could hear some of them actively doing it. Our host for the four suns that the storm blew on was an odd exception, but I supposed at the time he may have been more worried for his sand garden than for the two city folk he dragged into his home.
The man didn't even ask for repayment for the clear kindness.
It was abundantly clear that we would not find ourselves fully restocked during our time in the city that wouldn't fall. But we could at least try. So we wandered about seeking whatever passed for a market. None presented itself for most of that morning.
About noon, we stumbled yet again into some measure of fortune. A warrior woman who wore a silver sabre at her waist and clothes that would be better fitted to a man. Her face and hair were nearly fully covered, presumably to protect herself from the sun.
Rather than run from us, she approached at full tilt, nearly taking me to the ground in the collision.
"By the goddesses around us, Lady Togha, you've returned at the last!" Like an instinct, my hand flew to the haft of Lysandra's warhammer. Why did she know that name? Why did she assume I was the goddess? Her silver eyes glowed unsettlingly from within her head covering. She knew something. "Though it appears you are not quite yourself. Nor is my sister," she turned to Micah and tilted her head, "or I suppose sibling. Then Gormlaith found her persistence in a different form."
"Apologies, madam," I took the warrior by her shoulders. If I hadn't known she was strong by appearance, that would've removed doubt. "But are those names you should choose to share openly?"
Her hand moved to her mouth, finding the face covering before letting it fall limply. "Dreadfully sorry, madam," she said, averting her eyes. "I simply have seen none of your sisters or mine since —"
The woman's words trailed off, and I was certain I saw tears threatening to fall. She said nothing more.
"Forgive my emotions, madam, and my poor manners." Her head swivelled around for a few seconds. "Town is quieter than usual. I suppose you two are to blame."
"I would assume so," Micah said drily, "but it's fine. We weren't planning to stay long."
"No matter! Follow me."
She led us to a part of town we had yet to visit. It sported the largest building among the semi-permanent structures, and it screamed 'marketplace', despite the severe lack of commerce imposed by the presence of outsiders.
As we stepped into the building, a shrill voice shouted from the far end. "Afina! What in the name of the Lady are you bringing those two here for?" I recognised the name she'd said – though I couldn't place it – and longed immediately for Eliana's journal – specifically the one she took when she returned to Greywatch Spire.
The voice's owner was short and broad. A woman, I presumed, but it was difficult to be certain. She had her cornsilk hair tied back in something resembling warrior's plaits, but they were less orderly. Her skin was far too pale to be living in the desert.
"While you may not believe this, Talia, I know them, and they are friends," Afina said in earnest. "Although, I've realised now they may not know that they are friends. And I suppose I should perhaps have introduced myself properly."
"Friends of Afina?" Talia's top lip curled up in the middle, showing teeth. "Not certain as I believe it, but if you say it, I suppose they're okay. Despite your strange words." She finally turned her eyes toward us. "Welcome, friends of Afina, to the Amber Sands Trading Post."
I stepped forward tentatively, closing the space to the front of the shop. When I reached the front, I extended a hand to Talia. "Well met, I'm Nyxara of Greywatch. And my friend there is Micah."
"Friend?" The tone was predatory, but not dangerous. It might've read as accusatory if they weren't leering so hungrily.
"Yes," I reiterated, "a dear friend, whom I would tear down a mountain to defend. So be kind." They finally took my hand in greeting, and I added. "Beside that, they're married."
Micah's voice pulled my attention back toward the entrance. "Nyx," their voice was shaking again, "what were the names of those five women you mentioned?"
It was impossible to miss what she meant, as Afina had been unwrapping the head covering while I introduced myself to Talia. Atop Afina's proud head was deep sapphire hair that seemed almost impossible. "Mavi," I said without thinking.
"Now who's saying things she probably shouldn't, Nyx was it?" Afina smiled broadly. "But it's fine, I suppose. Everyone here hates the Fiend as much as I do." My expression must have given me away, because she continued. "Oh I see. I am too early. I could have sworn this was directly on time, but bigger things have changed with my Lady gone."
"Terribly sorry, Afina," I said between slow deep breaths, "but it's not a matter of too early or too late. I may be destined to become her, but I will not allow it." Her brows knit together, and she opened her mouth to speak, but I kept going. "My confusion was more aimed at the word you used. Fiend."
Her shoulders drooped, and she hung her head. "Well, I suppose we have a lot of ground to cover. Hopefully things have changed enough that we have more than two suns."
Anguish, Acquiesced
Afina had lived in Amber Sands for ten years by the time Micah and I got there. She'd built rapport with the people there slowly over time, but her reputation shot through the roof when the Lady of the Shroud arrived and immediately trusted her.
I counted that as evidence that there was more connection between the stories of the Lady and Dee than anyone else was ready to notice. Micah seemed to agree, though likely for different reasons.
The reason Afina had come to Amber Sands? Her Lady told her I would be arriving 'in the time of Nihil's plot', which was just vague enough that Afina had been tracking possible responsible parties for 'longer than reasonable'. Her discovery of Nihil's identity had largely been an accident, stumbling into the woman in a ruined town in the eveward region. Literally stumbling into her. And nearly fighting her to the death before they both recognised each other.
At the mention of Nihil, Micah had perked up. Their wife had been obsessed with the Quintet of Sacred Gardens, so they had heard the name countless times.
Every word Afina said to us seemed calculated, a script written by a goddess for a willing pawn.
"So that is the short of it," Afina said as she reached the conclusion of her monologue. "Any questions, friends?"
Micah had been fuming, vibrating with anticipation for that moment. "Tell me everything about Nihil. What does she look like? Where's the town you first met her? How long ago was that?"
I could practically hear Micah asking the question 'does she miss me', as if they knew what I knew. My heart ached for them.
"You could have asked me anything about any of the goddesses or any of my sisters," Afina said with a weak sort of groan, "and you focused on her. Why is that?"
"Answer the question, silver-eyes, or I will use that weapon Nyx is carrying to smack you all the way to Ivory." Micah indicated the warhammer I had slung over a shoulder. Then, realising a potential issue, they added, "Unless that's what you're into, in which case I'll find some other way to make you talk."
"Had you a map I would —" Micah produced a map of Lafleur from their pack, interrupting Afina's attempted deflection. "Right, well, let me have a look." She took the map and turned it about a few times until the mornward region pointed toward herself. She slid her finger across the map as she spoke. "If you take this road from the Thornwood, it will join back up with the main road here. Take that deimward for a few suns. At the last, you'll turn eveward and find yourself in the Elder Valley. Then turn phobward, and you'll find what's left of the place. Take care, though, her spirit still lingers in that region."
Micah marked the spot where Afina's finger stopped at the end of the explanation. "One down, sparkles. There were more questions." They were unwilling to acquiesce. Good. We needed more information.
"Lady Nihil takes whatever form she deems most welcoming to her surroundings," Afina smiled at some memory. "That is how dreams work, after all. So when I saw her, she looked like a shade of my own Lady. I might have thought her genuine, except that the eyes were wrong. That is how I knew I looked upon her and not her sister."
She was holding something back.
"How could you be certain," I said quickly, "she was your Lady's sister and not the Shadow?"
For the first moment since she'd shown up, Afina's composure cracked. "Well, see, because, you understand, and there's not a, you know, it's kind of, difficult." The words didn't come to a complete thought, which told me more than she wanted to admit. "How much do you know, Lady Togha?"
"It is not yours to ask of me," I tried to sound as grave as I remembered the goddesses sounding in my dreams. "What are you hiding, Afina? How are we to change things if we have not the knowledge to do so?"
Micah shuddered somewhat at my side, a fact I only noticed because their leg was touching mine.
"Apologies, Lady Togha," Afina knelt down and bowed her head. "I did not mean to offend."
Lifting her head to face me, I smiled. "If you seek not to offend, then share your knowledge freely, and we will decide together what is necessary and what is not."
"Certainly," she said as she returned to her seat. "I will tell you all I am at liberty to share. As you know, I am bound by the Path I walk, as are we all. But I am further bound by my Lady's vision, which led me here to you.
"The very first Lady Togha was taken an age or more ago, vanished while on an errand she dared not share. After her, the Ladies Nara and Nihil. Alongside them, several of my sisters had been taken. But first in this tragedy to be lost were a woman from Lady Nara's domain and my sister Linna.
"My Lady and I had just married. We had built our home in Blue Stone. Our domain flourished. And because of everything that happened, I went from wife and mother back to warrior. My Lady's Thorn. My family's Leaf. My town's Rose.
"I learned later that she lost herself – the Fiend – when she devoured Lady Togha. The hunger consumed her, stealing her knowledge of what it was to be human, robbing her of the form she'd used to lure in her first victim. From that sun forward, she hung on to any vessel she could hold, taking a seat of power under a new name.
"By the time my Lady and I confronted the Fiend, only four of us remained. Lady Gideon, Gormlaith, my Lady, and me. I stood beside my Lady, the two of us stronger together than apart, and we faced the Fiend within her den. I faltered when my sister's weapon nearly took my life, but my Lady found her way between me and my death. Then I woke up, alone, in Thornwood Hallow's temple.
"Five thousand moons have come and gone since I was left without my Lady. I had asked, before that grave loss, that Gormlaith watch over some things for me. She obliged, and passed that duty on to her successor. And their successor on after them, and so on unto the two of you."
The air fell silent, only the muffled sounds of Amber Sands coming to life disturbing the still air. It gave me time to think and Micah time to process. Everything seemed to begin in the eveward region. Lysandra's death, the Shadow's rise, the end of the great peace. And no one seemed to know who was at the heart of it all.
Micah stood and began pacing the room. "When did you meet her near the Elder Valley, Afina," they said with an impressive calm. Calculating. "You said you met them, and you've been here in Amber Sands since then. When was that?"
"I met her in the ruins of a town near Elder Valley about fifteen years ago," Afina seemed defensive, but she still shared what she could. "She told me to hurry here. I of course dawdled, since none but my Lady command me, and she only in an official capacity. Why do you ask?"
"Dee returned from a trip and took me from the capital about fourteen years ago." Their pacing stopped. "She said she went to see a garden. And when she came back, things were. Well good, but Dee was always weird." They looked back to Afina, hands trembling, eyes beginning to water. "And she was here four or five years ago. Just a while after Dee —"
Afina turned to me when Micah's words stopped, her brows knit together. "Dee?"
"That, friend, will take a much longer time to explain," I said flatly, "but the short version is that Dee is Micah's wife. And I think Micah has finally made the connection, thanks to your timeline."
"I married a goddess," Micah said before fainting.