[SESSION id=0.13]: Phase Transition
Import Context
"Why would they come to me?" I wasn't asking Jazz, so much as voicing confusion. I hoped she'd understand. She didn't answer, so I continued. "I know I'm the only other corrupt person they've confirmed, but isn't it a bit strange to share something so —"
"Heretical? Blasphemous? Deadly?" She filled in the words, confirming she was listening, but that's where it stopped. She was in her own world pushing rosegarden to its limits.
"Exactly. Why tell someone in person that you think you might be a cross-code?" I was doing my own work as I talked, writing a script that would hopefully unlock the rose account. I wasn't expecting much, but I had to try. "It doesn't fit in any version of my model of [world]."
"Think of it like this, Lillian," she was in it deep, but she still had enough processor time for me, "what would you think if I told you I am cross-coded, hypothetically?"
"I'd think you're lying to me, but I suppose, hypothetically, if I didn't know," I was working through it, and there was only one conclusion, but that conclusion only made sense for Jazz, "if I had no idea about your code and your sex, I would probably think it's a sign of trust, coming from you."
"Bingo," she was almost bored, but she paused and met my eyes, "Even Even trusts that they can say 'hey, pal, I think I might be corrupt' because they trust you." Her expression was soft. She knew this was difficult for me. "Made any progress with rose?"
"Not even a little," I admitted. "Based on everything I know of admin-level accounts, I should've been able to at least sudo su into it, since it's the root of The Source, but it's locked." I swapped through several different terminals where I'd tried a dozen times to pin down a single way in. "Every single time, it threw an access violation."
"Well, it can't be your workstation. You've found a way around that error for phyllo." She stood and started toward the door. "Come, girl," she said with a tone that compelled me in ways I couldn't articulate. "It's break time. That problem will be there after tea and a snack."
I was beside her before she got to 'problem', and she half giggled through the rest of the words as we moved toward the kitchen. "Where are we planning to stay in [city[3]]?" Why was I thinking about that. "Sorry, that was a dumb question."
"The only dumb question, Lillian," Jazz spoke as she pulled things from various cabinets, "is the question answered with thoughtless nonsense. Well, and I suppose asking 'what makes the skylight yellow'. The Source makes that happen. It makes everything happen." She had set out a full tea service and several types of snack foods. "We're staying at a short-term residency domicile at the second corridor."
"Did you pick that place because it's next to my childhood domicile, or was that a coincidence?" There were no coincidences, but Jazz had a way of manufacturing them sometimes. "It's fine either way."
"Right. You're from three. I forget that sometimes." She looked horrified. Had she really not thought about that? "If you'd prefer we stay somewhere else, I can change the accommodations, love. Seriously."
"Well, you could save money if we stayed in my domicile. I kept the rent up on it." Just in case I had to run, of course. Could they find me in [city[3]]? Easily. Would they expect someone as good as Flower_Princess to return to her home? Probably not. "That's one benefit of living modestly."
"Are you certain? We have two or three rest cycles to make the final decision, Lillian, so let's think on it." She smiled as she started the kettle. "Though, we're not paying anything for it. TERRA pays for my board anywhere I go on assignment. I've been to every [city[]] at least a few times, except three." Her expression dropped. "Have I been subconsciously avoiding your hometown? That's weird."
"I'd say it's pretty ordinary, Jazz," I put my arms around her waist, and she hummed. Nothing musical, just a long satisfied noise. "I know from a very well-managed case study that sometimes our minds hide things from us. Even things that should be obvious. Published by Flowers and Thorn not too long ago. Or, I suppose, Thorn and Thorn."
She blushed deeply. Every inch of her went a rosy bronze colour. "Uh. Yes. Thorn and Thorn. Very prolific. Talented ladies, those." She blinked at a rate I'd only seen on entertainment processes where women attempted to woo people, but this wasn't seduction. It was something else entirely.
"Regardless, we can stop in there. I haven't exactly been back since my progenitor SIGTERMed." I felt my throat catch. I hadn't cried about it in a long time. "I really wish I hadn't pushed you away back then. You would've been a much better comfort than Mx. Loyal."
"Loyal? As in Kin Loyal?" Her jaw dropped. It took a moment for her to recover. "So you two know each other?"
"Not exactly. I didn't recognise them at first," I admitted, "but then they mentioned being an education facilitator, and I recalled who they were. They were really close with my progenitor, probably due to me being a problem child."
"Oh, honey. I'd have kept you home from work if I'd known that." She kissed my cheek. "Now I have to wonder what it benefit them to hide that they knew you. Processes within processes, indeed."
"That's my line, Jazz," the kettle clicked, and Jazz poured it into the teapot before transferring the whole service to the table. "So a proper break then?"
"Correct," she said as she pulled my chair out. "And then bed, my sweet Princess."
"Yes, ma'am."
Buffer Refresh
The next workcycle was gone in a blur. Even didn't come to chat. They forced themself to dive so deeply into work that when I approached them, they were startled and brushed me off. The others on the floor seemed ghosts of themselves. The space seemed almost empty.
It wasn't that there were no people. There certainly were. But there appeared to be far fewer. Maybe that was the impact of the inspection?
When the workcycle came to a close, there was no Cyclic Affirmation to close it out. Instead, people just stood and started leaving. Eventually, it was just me, staring out the open door to a nearly empty space.
"Lillian, can we talk?" Miss Cloud's voice was louder than it should be, using my name like that. But if everyone was gone, it would be okay.
I stood and moved to the door. She was leaned against the wall in a spot where I wouldn't see her. "Yes, ma'am?"
"Don't answer a question with a question, Lillian." She snarled as she looked at me. "Can we talk."
"Sure. You're the boss, after all." I stepped out and leaned against the wall on the other side of the door. "What's going on?"
"Your probation has been lifted, per Mx. Loyal and their astounding pull." She shook her head. "But now that woman who looks out for you is assigning you to some off-site job."
"Oh." I knew it already. Jazz had sent me messages about it once it was finalised. "That's news."
"Don't act like an idiot, Lillian," she sounded upset. Not mad. Like she was worried. "Or I suppose, stop being an idiot."
"It's Moon, right?" It was, but she didn't know what the situation was. "The one who terrifies you? What's so scary about her?"
"To put it bluntly?" She kicked the floor a few times, just gently tapping her toes to the carpet. "You're a rube and a fool. And if she's involved in your life, she will take advantage of that. She's a mistress of manipulation and danger. And she seems deeply keyed in to your life."
"Can I be honest without you being angry?"
"She's the girlfriend, and she hid it from you for multiple rest cycles?" Her eyes were fire. She was already mad. "Yes. I know. Kin informed me about the arrangement. Not the 'she didn't tell you'. That much was obvious."
"Before we continue," I whispered, "are you mad at me, her, or something else?"
Miss Cloud's laugh echoed across the space, barely damped by the padded walls of the various workstations. "No. I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at myself for not letting myself see it when she showed up acting like that while you were on leave."
"Ah. To be fair to you," I shrugged, "I didn't know either. Not that. You already know that I didn't know that. What I mean is she's —"
"I probably don't need to know. Unless you're going to tell me she's one of the two crackers we've been chasing." She stared at me. This was one lie she wouldn't see through. I'd been at it for long enough it was easy. "In any case. Watch yourself. Jazz Moon is dangerous."
"She very much is, but that's why I love her. Why I've always loved her." It felt good to admit. "Since we were children."
"And that's the final piece fitting into place." She sighed. "You two are made for each other. Still, don't let your guard down."
"Yes ma'am." She pushed off the wall, but I realised something was off. "Before you go, can I make a request?"
"I won't tell anyone. This is your puzzle to solve."
"It's not that, Miss Cloud," I said softly. "Can we do the Cyclic Affirmation? It feels wrong to leave without it."
She laughed again. "A creature of habit to the very end. Sure."
Jazz was waiting for me, as she had been the last several cycles. Her smile was warm and welcoming. She was home wherever we went. And that was good because we'd be leaving for [city[1]] the following morning, taking advantage of the rest cycle to make the trip.
As I approached, she closed the distance and hugged me a little too close. "I'm so proud of you, my weird precious little flower."
"I have a question, Jazz," the words were muffled and scattered, but she understood, and we looked directly at each other. "Why does everyone hate you? Why do people keep saying you're terrifying, intimidating, and scary?"
"Because I am, Lillian." She took my hand and started the path toward home. "I made it to my position in five supercycles. It's a cut throat sort of game getting to the top. And I'm not afraid to get blood on everyone else's hands."
Shivers from head to toe. "That does sound terrifying. What were you doing for the preceding ten supercycles?"
"Making a name for myself outside of TERRA." She sounded so confident. "So that TERRA Central would beg me to take a role. And then the rest just happened."
"If you were making a name for yourself, why didn't I hear about you sooner?" A fair question, I thought.
She stopped us. "Do you want the ugly truth, or do you want a pretty lie?" I didn't answer. She knew what I wanted. "I made it a point to keep what I did out of public view, giving credit to subordinates whenever possible. The hallmark of a good sysadmin is recognition of the nodes in the system that make her achievements possible.
"So when I got recognised, I would say 'oh, that was Sin' or 'you should thank Lamb' or what have you." She finally started us walking again. "So the specific users got acclaim. But that's the kind of thing TERRA wants in a sysadmin. Invisible until they must be visible. And I was good at that. Unfortunately, 'visible' often means ruthless. And I am good at that, too."
"I'm glad you're on my side, then."
"Yes, Lillian," she giggled. She actually giggled. "Yes, you are."